A sense of belonging, feeling seen and heard: what clients need

Once a week I work with a group of clients who get me so tickled. Recently, I asked one of them how many children she has and she said “15,000” confidently. Those of us who heard tried to hide our smiles. We weren’t mocking her, of course, because it was a result of her condition. We were simply surprised by her response and there was no need to correct her.

And yet somehow in spite of her word salad, she was able to tell me that they grew many different flowers in her garden at home. The names didn’t matter and she smiled as I told her about the flowers in my garden as well. From time to time, she would join in the conversation and we would all listen. Even though I don’t always understand what she is saying, her eagerness to be a part of the conversation showed that she enjoyed being there. She often starts the session by asking when she can go home and ends the session by saying, “It’s ok, I can stay here.”

Being in a quiet environment and communicating using appropriate gaze, speech, and touch helped put her at ease. Listening to her friends and laughing with them made her feel like a part of a group. Did she complete the activity by herself? No. Will she remember the activity when she goes home? Probably not. Did she leave feeling seen and heard? Yes. 

This is a group that doesn’t care for the most creative or “instaworthy” activity – very much like me. The activity itself, while important, is only part of the work. The rest of it lies in how we facilitate the time we have with the client. By being present and showing up fully. 

#TherapeuticRelationship #PersonCentredApproach